If you run now, you will always be running

Why am I having difficulty writing this at the moment?

I am still in Richmond, but Richmond is no longer in me.

Do you know what I mean? Honestly, I don’t even know what I mean but I would like to think that I do. Like, I know Richmond can’t be in me because a whole city inside my body will cause me to expand, which, you know, the skin can only expand so much.

So what do I mean? What does anything mean? Why am I still here? Everything in my body is telling me to leave this city which holds so many of my burdens, mistakes, and, the happiest moments of my life.

Why am I here?

I am here because my heart refuses to give up

No no! Not today, not tomorrow, not even yesterday (get it, because I am still in Richmond when I said I was leaving the city (but, what if, at that point in time, I meant something more than leaving Richmond, it was a strange day))

(Wait, let’s continue with that thought).

(Okay now it’s gone).

I’m not leaving;

I may be in complete turmoil and a little crazy at the moment, but I know myself enough to know that if I leave under a state of duress……… whats the word..

I would being a fucking bitch

No, I refuse to deny my present circumstances, because they are nothing but an illusion.

I will leave Richmond once I knock out this beast, this depression;

I will leave Richmond when the fight is over;

I will leave Richmond when I WANT to leave Richmond.

Pain

This is my life, I am in charge here. My past doesn’t define me and the my future….

My future?

Is MY future.

With Love and Sincerity,

Jose Michael

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.